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Are you in a relationship with someone who really does not want to hear what you have to say? You do not want to spend your life with a partner who makes you feel dumb or treats you as if you have nothing to contribute. Have you seen this person interact with others? How does he or she act around other people? How does he or she act in a group setting or with family and friends?

How does he or she treat your family and friends? You must date long enough to find out what this person struggles with, even if you have to ask. This is so important because you do not want to end up in a marriage with someone who is struggling with something that you were not aware of. For instance, suppose he or she has issues with pornography, homosexuality, or drug addiction.

I believe that God is raising up singles who are going to be equipped to have success in every area of their lives! Everyone faces challenges in life, and with every challenge we face, there is a solution. We invite you to tune in weekly! Your email address will not be published. I only wish I had the courage to punish my perpetrator then but I was only 24 years old and I thought I was going to hurt my daughter if her father got taken away! When we got there she was crying and seemed to be in shock, but she looked intact. I asked if I needed to call the cops and she begged me not to, saying she just wanted to leave, so we did.

Her ex had thrown her against the wall, pounded her head on the kitchen floor, partially choked her, and kicked her hard in the stomach. We took her to the hospital and they found a blood clot in her brain. Her spleen was swollen to twice its usual size, but they had to MRI her abdomen to find the damage.

A careful abuser knows how to work you over without evidence. I have found it incredibly troubling as that so many people have found this completely acceptable — most without even bothering to read the police report or attempting to get any detailed facts on the matter. It made me sick to my stomach. It disturbs me greatly that we continue to be a community that in many respects that condones violence against our women. A fifteen year old girl should NOT be manhandled by her own father in this way, and it truly broke my heart to find that his wife sided with him.

We must remember this is a man, not God, not a God just a man that went to school to learn the bible and repeat and embellish it to others. We as parents are to lead our children and be role models for them as they grow. He is accused by both daughters not just one. The fact that his wife had to rush in shows that something was going on. Take the Megachurch Preacher robe off of him and see that he is a man that hit his female child with a shoe he admits that.

Sometimes and in some cases wives and children of so called men of God have the most oppressed and beat down spirits. Bottom line he is a grown man and she is a child and he should have showed more control, compassion and or mercy like he is expecting….. I mean, not even a pause?

This is sadly an everyday occurrence in communities of all socioeconomic backgrounds. This is never easy, but it has to be particularly daunting to take on the church and especially painful to be silenced in an an institution that offers itself as a safe haven. Thank you for this; as the daughter of a pastor this hits home — not from physical abuse but from emotional and so much of this article still applies. Reblogged this on Nerd Noire Undercover. This, unfortunately, happens in black homes. It happened in mine. My dad got angry at my sister and basically jacked her up. I never forgot since then that someone who could love me could also hurt me.

This is also why I have issues with the church. News flash to men — women wear burkas etc. Wolves walk around in sheep clothing and present themselves as Godly men yet prove to be just whores waiting for fresh meat. I do not dispel spankings, most folks DO try to go through the mind before popping a kids behind — I also know that there are some people -men and women — who beat their kids and think it is discipline.

Dollar wanted to control his kid and she is getting to that age where it is becoming impossible. This young lady probably has a mouth on her, I did at this age, and she hit the right buttons. In his rage due to what she said — in his anger — he did something he cannot take back, and has damaged the relationship with both of his daughters by lying and not admitting what happened and apologizing for it.

He could begin correcting this with truth, but truth comes at the premium of admitting what he has done. I stand with you. I could go on…but you really said it all. Good Afternoon, It would seem that the main premise of your argument is to challenge the church sanctioned abuse of women, whether child or adult. Am I to surmise that you believe had this been one of his Sons, that he would have not disciplined in this manner?

What do you think he would have done to his Son whom he perceived was being disrespectful? No I am not a church member and I actually have been quite critical of his ministry at times. I am here to tell you that the level of disrespect among our youth is at a crisis point. I do not condone the choking of a child but I do support his right to discipline his child whether girl or boy. Often times we come to a situation and view it in a vacuum. We fail to realize or take in to account all that happened that led up this situation.

I know I have been there. There is no easy solution and I feel your challenges with the churches blind support at times. But I fail to see the need for an open condemnation for a father who is trying his best to raise his children in a society and community fraught with negative influences and children with senses of entitlement but very little respect and discipline. The level of demand for respect among our elders is also at a crisis point. The failure to garner economic and political respect from jobs, bosses, spouses, and the neighbors has in some way, exacerbated the need of some parents to exact that respect from those the weakest and undeserving of such a burden.

More importantly, for all of those people who lament the crisis like levels of disrespect being exhibited by our youth, have you asked yourself how that came to be? And HOW does a child crying and not wanting to talk because they are upset reach being viewed as unjustified entitlement?

And we have laws that say that if a person makes rude or insulting statements, then you are generally not allowed to meet those statements with violence. Generally there has to be some perceived fear for your own safety to justify violently reacting to comments from another. Why would a child not be deserving of these same protections? That is not of God. That is not of any God worth believing in.

The level of this need to control—as opposed to parent—can be so very unhealthy. Very well written article which does raise some issues that need raising. However as with many issues that are raised in church the brush is too broad. When we do more than read the word but study it what we find is people just like us.

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The Bible is full of messed up people just like us, yet God still used them even though they had issues because God looks at the heart. When you walked out the church services continued on nothing stopped. You feel the way you feel and have a right to do so, not only are women mistreated in our homes and churches but people in general are both male and female. We tend to forget that it was not the World that killed Jesus but the church of his day he was no threat to Rome they could have cared less.

However we can try to make a difference in our own homes and churches. Bringing Lot in is a whole different story it is nowhere as simple as you stated and you have to study the Word to really understand what was going on. Lot had issues yet this scripture refers to him as righteous you have to study the word and dig deep to understand this. And no good sound Christian theology should teach that it does.

You and I just come to different conclusions. Jesus never really challenged scripture he challenged the way the church of his day just as today takes things out of context. How they went to far to the extreme. When put in context we see things clearly. Considering that Jesus was and is the Living word the only begotten son of God.

Who were they to be questioning him about anything. The disciples said what manner of man is this that even the winds and the waves obey him. The whole scene was silly it would be like me trying to tell Henry Ford about cars just because I always drove a Ford. Do not withhold correction we can stop there the use of the Rod or spanking whatever form of corporal punishment a parent deems appropriate. They are tools of correction, teaching right from wrong, good and evil, heaven and hell, so as the rod is incorporated in the process of correction you are delivering their souls from hell.

As far as my Dad is concerned he did what he felt he had to do. After he finished he said his goodbyes to my mom and brother then went home to Glory at almost 94 years old. It was amazing he left here just as he always said a true child of God leaves this earth I will never forget that. Thank you so much.

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I read the police report, which was chilling. What struck me was that the sister was so fearful of her father, that she made up a story to the police while in his presence, but was able to tell a different story when she was by herself. I am still on the fence about the issue and would need more evidence but I WILL say that i dont tolerate ANY kind of abuse towards women and i draw the line btwn discipline and flat out abuse.

You dont discipline a girl like you do a boy, you dont want a young lady growing up thinking its OK to be hit like this etc. And while i really just want to keep my mouth shut on whether the story is true or not, i do LOVE the side that you have presented to me oh so well, i agree with some of the commonalities.

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Women are more fragile, but I saw nothing in the police report to be concerned about. He hardly touched her. I am a Reiki practitioner, and the word touch, and what touch is, means a lot to me. Has a furious adult ever overpowered, hit and choked YOU? When you were 15? Obviously, terror means nothing to you.

Bravo for you, huh? You are a con artist selling Satanic magic as if it were medicine. You are a demon leading souls to Hell, and your opinion does not matter to me. You have abandoned Christ and all humanity, making you a valueless husk. Only God sees value in you, and only then if you turn away from your witchcraft and return to Christ. You may not watch a lot of combat sports, but as someone who does, I can say that, although some people can take one hit and bruise, or one perfectly placed hit and start bleeding, people can take multiple blows to the head without showing visible damage.

People can suffer concussions and look perfectly fine. Her sister would not have told the same story if it were a lie. There would have been inconsistencies marked down in the police report. I suspect both girls were telling the truth.


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I do not however think there was anything wrong in how he disciplined his daughter. I think a belt to her rear would have been a better choice than a shoe to her trunk, but he knows his daughter better than I ever will. That disqualifies it entirely as a parenting resource in my book. Peter, if you think that is an acceptable form of discipline, something is seriously wrong with your head, and I can only hope that any kids you have or will have never piss you off by crying too much.

Every medical intervention on Earth causes Death now and then. The same is true of seat belts. Do you oppose seat belts and modern medicine as vehemently as you do a book on child discipline? And accusing someone of a wrong is completely different from claiming that they were resurrected.

Its not simple battery when your child is being disrespectful, its called disapline. Then how is it the millions of people raise teenagers — good kids who stay out of trouble — without beating them? No, it is not the norm to beat your teenagers. And the kids who do get it find solace in all the wrong places.

Some people are blessed with obedient children. Others must turn a disrespectful child towards obedience and Christ. By your logic, mountaineers should only pack the gear needed to climb a hill. Soldiers should go to war with deer bows. Discipline is about instruction and training proper behavior. I dare say you are the one in need of discipline — self-discipline — in that case. I have a toddler, but I WAS a teenager. As were we all. Did your parents choke you for back-talk? Did they beat you with a shoe for perceived disobedience?

Did you get punched by your parents as a teenager? For me, the answer is certainly no. You need a new strategy. Or do you just escalate th violence and foolishly hope for a better result? My father preferred a belt to a shoe. My mother preferred a broom handle to choking. The choking was clearly anger, but he caused her no harm, There was no need for the police to be involved. It is not discipline when you BEAT a child. Beating someone with a shoe, slamming them into the ground, choking them, and punching them is not discipline.

Your view on child discipline is liberal foolishness. This is so Judgemental, get a life people, Creflo is a man not God, this man has faults, you hippocrites , He whois without sin cast the first stone. God help you, stop judging people!!! It scares me sometimes how much authority is given to pastors in modern day churches. No, we all actually should continue to judge and judge with abandon and enthusiasm. Judge constructively, judge with sensitity, judge with concern for the benefit of the weakest among us. Being without sin or with sin in my case has nothing to do with holding someone accountable.

A father and a man who professes to speak with authority from God should not be able to hide behind that bible when his behavior violates the very spirit of the religion he espouses. This conversation is healthy and for many, a healing one. I do agree with some elements of your presentation but take a little issue when someone presents themselves as Christian, but turns right around and uses language like that. The only message I get from that is that you are yet another male-basher bent on pointing out our flaws as straight up crimes against humanity.

People like you forget anout. Is it male-bashing to say a father was wrong to beat his daughter with a shoe? Is it male-bashing to say a father was wrong to choke his daughter? Is it male-bashing to say a father was wrong to slam his daughter to the ground? Is it male-bashing to say a father was wrong to punch his daughter? Or is it male-bashing to call out another pastor who supports the father who beat and choked his daughter? Child abuse is child abuse. Spousal abuse is spousal abuse. I am not getting much of of this, the more I read the more I heard a bitter angry woman who probably wrote this out of hurt from a break up.

How about for once we stop trying to separate genders and find a way to come together as people. Thank you so much for writing this. You are my new hero. This article is important because it brings to light lots of real and important issues we need to discuss. My issue with it is that it mixes two situations that in my opinion should be discussed exclusively. There is the issue of parenting, and what is too much discipline, and do Black people overdo it, and if so, why? Then there is the issue of do we overlook the sins of the church, and how does that influence the treatment of Black women?

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Therefore, I step away, go into another room and do what it takes to deal. We live in a society that blames parents for everything, but rarely gives them accolades when things go right. So I can see why parents are even more scared of their kids making errors in the first place. I will forever be grateful for finding this poem:. Your children are not your children. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. As for what I see as the second although no less important issue, the treatment of Black women in church, you are spot on, sista!

The disproportionate incarceration rate of black males makes it crystal clear that if anything, black parents are not disciplining their children enough. I will bet every single person sitting in prison right now got hit as a child. Thank you for having the courage to write this article and for sharing it with us.

Some even questioned my Christianity. My article is here: Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post. The black church, in so many ways, is problematic because it can never be reconciled with Christ and the gospel. Black culture and the black experience takes precedence over proper exegesis of the scriptures. The gospel is lost in all of this because we start with our culture and within our culture it is expected that we have an unquestioned leader who we follow and respect.

When that unquestioned leader has a gospel based on prosperity, or any other doctrine not justified by scriptures, when context is considered, then things like this happens. These actions just tell me that Creflo Dollar is bigger than Jesus, because he has permission to avoid accountability. Christianity is never without racial context. It might be if it had never been imposed on Africans, Asians, Indians, etc. And we have since used it as a source of strength as well as suffering, which no doubt rankles for all those white missionaries who thought it would be a great way to shut us up.

Time to reclaim the power without the poison. Go to all the white churches in this country — starting with them because they started it — and tell them to start basing their interpretation of Christianity solely on the gospel, as opposed to basing it on the white experience. Because they do, and you damn well know it. When they stop, the rest of us might think about it.

Our own racial bias does influence the way in which we express our Christianity, but the mode of our interpretation should not change based on our cultural experience i. The bible has an original context and there are both Black, White, and individuals from various backgrounds who, while they obviously express their Christianity with regard to their cultural experiences, they do not muddy the waters of biblical interpretation with it i. I am theologically liberal, but for the most part here, I offer scriptures using fairly conservative hermeneutics, meaning that I stick to what is in the text and what can be reasonably implied from the texts I cite.

And one cannot defend oneself against those kinds of attacks. Nor will I attempt to. The Universalist Unitarian is a predominantly-white but very multicultural, comparatively speaking ministry very much based on the Gospel i. The church is interpreting things fine…the Bible both the old and new is riddled with patriarchy because of the time in which it was written.

No one thinks to say, hmm, this makes no sense, or.. Thank you, someone understands, I have always told my husband and son the way you treat your sister our daughter is what she will expect from all males she meet. Shame on you Patsy Moms, these are our daughters -have we not seen enough. Creflo may need some parenting classes, but because he is Creflo he gets a pass. It amazes me that anyone would condone an adult man using corporal punishment on a teenage girl and calling it discipline.

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I taught children who never had the rod spared yet still managed to behave inappropriately. They all have smart mouths. Sounds like the author of this articles is a product of abuse. But what Pastor Dollar experienced was a matter of putting a child out of order back in order and the society she is raised in tells her it is OK to call the cops.

I am glad that my daddy put me in check. For that reason i am a successful adult. It is a total direspect to your parents home to try to go to a party at 1 a. The last time I received a spanking was at age 8 or 9. My stepfather and my mother got together when I was He has two other daughters who are around my age, daughters who did all manner of craziness.

And my preacher father never raised his hands to them as teenagers, even when they were disrespectful and blatantly broke rules. So in fact, I have a real good personal model for the positions I took in the post. I guess you should try again to figure out what is wrong with me now that your abuse scenario has gone to shreds. Insightful yes…but you kind of did the same thing. You can have 5 children and all of them may require you to rethink how you discipline them.

Did something happen in that house…yes? Who knows for sure, only- Dr Dollar, his two daughters, and the Lord above. Lastly- would it have been better if her mother was the one that disciplined her? I saw someone make a really great point. There needs to be more dialogue that includes parents of teenagers. I saw it with my own eyes when my older sister demanded to leave the home to visit her boyfriend.

That placed my father on 2yr probation because they believed her. He picked me up for my weekend visit, yanked my hair so hard that my head hit the emergency break. In the end, I see both sides being a possibility. People who rush to both sides are irresponsible since no one was there. You know how many mothers resent their daughters and do much worse emotionally and physically to their daughters. Because no one can hear beyond a pointed finger. I with Sister Girl on this! Stop the violence, ignorance and hypocrisy in our church communities, and then our social and family communities will be able to see, feel, know and accept Christ for who he is and what he is here in our lives for.

Those old testaments and new testaments scriptures are there for our learning; yet we have to be wise enough to know how to apply them in this day and time. One of my Sunday School teacher, I remember growing up in church, always use to get abused physically from her husband. She would would be wearing sunglasses in church every other Sunday. Sometimes, I use to notice the bruises to her face.

As a young boy, I knew what was going on, because I too witness many times my father beating the life out of my mom. So I knew what it looked it. Yet, like my mom, she was encouraged to stay with here husband because he was taking care of her and the children; and besides, if they were to leave, where would they go? Which man in their right mind would have you with all these children. Pray, God will change him. Not a damn truth. I am no doctor of psychology nor psychiatry, but I know this much, as I have witnesses it in my own home growing up after my mom finally build the courage to leave my dad; which I found out was not even married to my mom.

The effects are long term when anyone is stripped of their power and beauty to be human. When a women is beaten and is encouraged to stay there in that home by the church or her family, her ability to accept her beauty, her self-worth, to be loving, and all the good things that make a woman a woman and the a mother to her children are flushed down the toilet. In this you have a broken person, trying to keep a family together. So how do you think the family growing up is really going to turn out in society and in their personal lives? Thank God for Grace and all the healing that comes with it to keep us all afloat!

We overcome by the word of our testimony and by the blood of the lamb! I am an over-comer and use what I know everyday to help my mom and sisters, whom also have been victims of abuse by the men in their lives. And Like Madea said, fix them bitches a pot of hot grits before you go! I loved the article. I am the mother of two daughters and one son. My oldest daughter is married, my son has been in a long term relationship with a very nice young lady and last but not least, there is my 16 year old daughter.

There have been days when I have had to catch myself to stop from ringing her neck. I did not choke, punch or beat her with a shoe. Because my mother put the fear of God into me to the point where I finally found my voice at 35 years old. I was so afraid of confrontation until I was literally a doormat.

Granted, the child may have been disrespectful, but if she called the police, this was not the first time that this has happened. This was the straw that broke the camels back. He is just a man who puts his pants on one leg at a time and is hiding behind the Creflo Dollar brand. Hope to meet you one day. Anyway you slice this it smells bad. True, most fifteen year olds like to have their way, and all parties are important ones, particularly the end of the year ones.

Went through that twice. But how do you go from bad grades to the police being called to your house on a domestic? My question is this: Probably none, because they tend to hit back. My hope is that they all get the healing that they need. I really need my grown daughters in my life because they bring me a lot of joy. For thing for sure: You made a lot of good points. Generally, our society not just the black community do not respect children. Perhaps it has been the demands of modern life since the agricultural and industrial revolutions, but we have to find a way back to back to it being the norm to treat our children and each other with equality and respect.

The pastor will want to protect his reputation and the truth may not help that. The older daughter may be afraid of the truth, because it may hurt her father or hurt her sister. The reliance on the people in question to be the only ones to tell the truth.. Abuse victims routinely lie, to themselves, to hospital workers, emt workers, etc. Abusers lie as well. I plead for education.

All things constant , was he reported before for assaulting his daughter? And for the scholars on parenting, how should he have handled his daughter in that moment? You know we joke about the punishments we had as children, this Dollar case seems real familiar in that context. What alternatives are there when you are ready to drop kick the child in the chest for pumping their own chest up and defying you. I have met some successful folks who did not experience physical punishment, but working here in Chicago , it is evident not enough of these same aged teens are being corrected.

What I cant stand for is we coddle and say oh that is not right correct the child physically and offer talking to them. Again I ask how is it abuse? Have we come to be that desensitize? So Madea, Granny, Gran pop and others were brutal and cruel? What would be the difference now? If you say it is not necessary I got a beach house in Idaho for sale!

And nearly all of them have siblings who got the same beatings but are alcoholics, drug users or incarcerated. Yeah, beating the kids is the magic solution. Reading the article might help you out. It is abusive, warped and destroys spirits and souls. Fair enough you have factual living.. There are real cases of abuse and then there are not cases. Again what is an alternative for the unruly child. They are not getting a pass.

And you know while we are at it, if this daughter were an unruly son then what? Again what do you do? Are they any records with the school she attends? Before we go and say oh he is abusive, check records for just cause. There are many different ways you can correct a child. A spanking when you are 3 years old may be acceptable if the parent cannot appropriately communicate to the child that they are doing something wrong. Parents are very used to not being questioned. They just want their children to do as their told but as the child grows, that relationship becomes more complex.

The young adult starts wanting to make decisions on their own which may be contrary to their parents.

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I am the youngest of three girls. My father was very protective and very strict. There were many times where put his foot down and blatantly said no to my oldest sister which then became blanket rules for the rest of us. Yet when I heard my mother and father talking things over some of these things made sense. Sure they may be upset still but you have a better chance of them listening to you if they know you are listening to them. I am in no way defending anyone, but looking at basic common sense…. When a 15 year old wants to leave the house to go to some party at 1 a.

In the morning in the city of Atlanta…. Just saying this article definitely ignores those vital points. This is exactly how I feel about this situation.. I attended Creflo Dollars church once back in ; something seemed off about him, but I could never put my finger on it. Are you kidding, I bet all those who commented on this article do not know what occured in that house. That is the way it is written in the Holy Book. I find it difficult to believe that the Pastor intended to hurt his daughter.

This is what is wrong with our Society. One of the reasons why we have our people disproportionately represented in Jails across the country. Bringing up teenagers is quite difficult and I am not creating any excuses for the Pastor. He may have made mistakes. However, this is not a case of abuse like i see in most comments that I see here. Blacks are the most religious demographic in the country. Yet…look at all the blacks in prison, in gangs, the kids killing eachother over drugs….

The bible also says to kill those who work on the sabbath. You gonna do that too? Discipline is about teaching and training from the root word disciple. All children need discipline. NO child needs to be beaten. Prisons have been privitized. They are incentivized by keeping the prisons full. As adults we are supposed to be smarter than our children. Surely we can think of another way to discipline that does not have the lasting negative impact that corporeal punishment has.

I feel sorry for the black community. Look at African immigrants that come to our country. They come with nothing, but yet they put all their energy into making the best of the opportunity of being in America. They do not talk back at their parents, they do not call the cops on their parents, discipline is instilled from childhood, yet you do not see many of them in jails like we African Americans.

Go to all the Ivy league schools in the nation and you find them very well represented. Yet they came from poor quality schools, that we in the west criticize and look down upon. So what are they doing right?? There are cases and then there are not cases. Parenting is not fast food, there is no quick fix dollar menu instant answer. There is no evidence that this child was unruly. Not wanting to talk to your father is not unruly. Asking if you can go to a party the next night is not unruly. I agree with the blogger almost entirely. One assertion, however, seemed gratuitous: First, I would like to say that the Church has not fail its women, only God and the family knows what happen.

I say that this incident was a trick from the enemy to try to stop the man of God from preaching the truth about sin. I hope you are not saying that his daughter is doing the work of the devil for calling the cops on her father for abuse. The Bible is anti-female from the first page.

The females I look up to in that ghastly tome are either marginalized or made to be seen as evil. I strongly dislike Creflo Dollar. He is but a pimp and opportunist. But I hope things like this help send a jolt through the hand of religion so that it can loosen its vice grip and quit paralyzing our people. That is a lie. But clearly you do not understand and probably have not read. Who can bring what is pure from the impure? Keep virgins for yourselves.

CH 12 Miriam punished for rebuking Moses. Jasmine LuckyDragon Tirado if you read the 36th and 37th verses of I Corinthians chapter 14 you will find that the writer is in fact refuting those things. The writer is saying men did not create the word of God and that it was not meant only for them therefore they cannot control who learns it, where, how, and who speaks it. The writer then says anyone who claims to be a prophet should acknowledge that these are the commandments of God, once again nothing made up by man. So before you categorize the Bible as being against women, be sure to continue reading to the end.

Reblogged this on Ace VS. In My Mind and commented: Good Read For Women.. Truth is that you have all the power to stop these thing by standing up and telling the truth. My question was why would a mother let this happen to a 15 year old girl. This isnt a beating on your butt when your 5 for not listening. This is a Brawl. My bigger issue is how you call yourself a Christian with a straight face and cuss as much as you do. I do know the facts that no one claiming to follow Jesus should be using the language you do.

Take the plank out of your eye first…. Watch your life and your doctrine…. We do not become Christians by our works. We are Christians by our faith only. I have to give an account to the Lord for what I say and do, not you. And that is between me and God. So like I said, I stand by my original post—cuss words and all. Maybe you have your own made-up expletives that you use? They cause no harm and are not, in themselves, offensive. Legalistic worry over how people talk is a terrible habit for a Christian to pick up, because it really is a huge plank preventing you from seeing so many more important things.

Thank you so much for this piece. After seeing this, I am interested in writing for this blog in the future. I could not have said it better myself. I have felt the same way most of my life about reconciling my religious views with the feminist views I was born with. I say born with because my views were inherent and came about at a young age but were not nutured. I have been dismayed by the responses to this situation. Part of the psychosis is that because of the absence of so many fathers in the African American community, many feel that having a man in the home, even one who beats you, is better than not having a man at all.

I know we all make mistakes but there seems to be no ownership or accountability going on in the Dollar home. The daughter is a student who had done somewhat poorly in school and had not, apparently, improved her marks. Thus the restriction on her partying. For her to be in a snit is a normal reaction, and should have been ignored.

Let her cool off. There is time later for a discussion about it. For the purposes of IQ testing, adulthood is attained at the age of Yeah, maybe a man is needed in the household—a real man, not a bully and a moron. I dnt really watch dollar much, not my cup, but I can tell you I know better then to put all my trust in man, because no one is perfect but God! Because we all are sinners no exemptions. Because we were forgiven. So if he could have mercy on us for our wrong doings, why cant we do the same for each other?

I mean its kinda 1 of the main ideas… wouldnt you agree? But a bigger issue for me and let me tell you it bothers me terrible is when people judge others in the name of the Lord feeling they know him well enough to speak on his behalf 2 condemm others because of their decisions right or wrong even condemming them for forgiving another.

Question, do u claim to know what God is doing in every situation?. Please know that he does not require you to understand but he does require you to Obey. Stirring the pot, mis-leading your brothers and sisters, creating division because that is exactly what this is. Let me tell you satan is not kind he will definitely trick u into believing you are on the right side of the lord.

Be humble and kind to your brothers and sisters these are not suggestions they are requirements. And note, that in the same way you judge dollar God will judge you!!! It has already been prepared for you no need for seasoning because IT is perfect. God has ALL power the enemy is no match for him.

You dnt have to worry. Since you want to talk about picking and choosing scriptures, what do you with the verse in John 7: But we are to do so in a loving and gracious manner. Your post is full assumptions about my prayer life and my relationship with God. And ALL your assumptions are wrong. Here Jesus is speaking of child like Faith exhibited by those who would become converted as well as warning those following him that they should not hinder children who believed in him.

Want to know the last time I heard something like this used to defend a clergyman accused of abuse? Reblogged this on CoyoteStyle and commented: Something all Christians, especially the ones from African descent should read. Thanks for putting it much more eloquently than i probably. Glad there are people like you out there speaking up. Christiantiy is the biggest challenger of the basic fundamentals of common sense especially if you are American black but our people lap it up as if it was the fountain of youth. Wake up my people, you are being conned!!

I really think that none of you have read that heinous book from cover to cover. I think you let the preacher jump around from verse to verse, skipping over the EVIL in that book. You know its the religion of the slave master right? History as shown that the religion and culture of the Jew, Christian, and Muslim is one of violence and genocide. Both of which are condoned by God.

Who tells the first lie, and thus commits the first original sin. Whose name means Jealousy? Which would make sense sense the devil was cast down from the heavens. Stop getting played by the enemy, getting yourself all wrapped up in black history, african and idian decent, feminist vs.

Concern yourself with the word of God thats all you need everything else is a trick. Be responsible for yourself and, but help your people with prayer and my living and spreading the word of God. Not by confusing us. That is more damaging to African Americans then anything the white man did. You are committing a great crime against your brothers and sisters!!!! When will we believe our daughters? How many years have our daughters tried to stand up for themselves about so many things that make us feel uncomfortable and instead we beat them down and treat them like roped cattle?

When will we stand up for our daughters? When will we believe our daughters over our shame or our pride? When will we defend our daughters? When we stop asking for evidence when the evidence is already there? When will somebody comment on what the daughter was doing when he charged her? When will somebody say, Hey, wait a minute, the daughter was in the other room crying…?

The daughter was crying out her disappointment. Does disappointment deserve hands around the throat? Does disappointment deserve a paddling by a shoe? Does disappointment deserve being thrown down on the floor like roped cattle? When will we stop standing up for hoodlums who wear the holy cloth? When will we start embracing the courage of anyone to walk out of church when our soul tells us to walk out? What is wrong with us that we are quicker to call on dutiful obedience from the child than dutiful love from the father named for his almighty dollar?

When will we look into the mirror and believe our daughters? When will we look into the camera and believe our daughters? When will we stop protecting the liar beneath the light of the cross? How many hundreds of years have to pass before we lean into the truths that our 15 and 19 year-old daughters are speaking to us as loud as any gospel? When will we thank her for telling the truth.

When will we embrace our daughters for standing up for their lives? Somebody please tell me when? When will we believe that their sanity and their lives matter? The enemy is easy to spot. He is alway speaking and acting against the word of God. History has shown and the statistics clearly states he says, and all christians are hypocrites, look what those pastors in those cities did. He claims the word is wrong but then speaks from it.

He is easy to spot. You will always find him speaking against the word. Be blessed and highly favored be worry free and powerful and loved. Have a great friend in jesus Choose a bright future. You have alot to gain with the lord God on your side. I think the insinuation that Black women are getting their behinds kicked in their own homes makes the point. This was a child who only had to accept what her father said.

I can imagine a father who has been investigated for his lavish lifestyle might be indulgent of his children. I have a year-old daughter and I WAS abused by my father from the age of 5 regardless of all the overachieving and all the pleasing I tried to do, he was mean—and often unforgiving and I was his favorite! As an abused child, I would not have asked my father to go to a party. I would not have cried openly after being told I could not do something and I would not have told my father I did not want to talk to him. I do believe this post has taken the ball and run with it.


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The Black Church fails its women when it fails its sons. The fact that we lose young boys in adolescence due to archaic youth ministries is a failing. The fact that teen and single mothers are black sheep is a failing. The fact that the epitome of womanhood is becoming a wife and mother is a failing. But a father who for all I know has been in the household rearing and caring for his wife and children is not a failing, even if he is imperfect.

I do not spank, hit or punch my child. And if she raised her hand to me God only knows which one of us would be on the news. What is alleged here is a pretty obvious criminal act, not just a routine spanking. I sure think a year-old girl deserves to be heard, because you know what? For that very reason, what she has to say needs its fair hearing.

Because it sure as hell does everywhere else. Did that child try my patience? Is the Pope catholic??? If we are going to beat up in Creflo, then we should beat up on both parents. What did she do to protect her child IF her child needed protecting?