- Demi Lovato Opens Up About Dating Latino Men vs. White Men
- Northwestern women of color speak out against fetishization of their race and ethnicity on campus
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- Demi Lovato Opens Up About Dating Latino Men vs. White Men | HuffPost
Demi Lovato Opens Up About Dating Latino Men vs. White Men
By March she had deleted all dating apps from her phone. Receiving sexual attention can often be construed as flattering. And for many of the women I talked to, the avalanche of attention was pleasantly surprising. Vargas and the rest of us are whittled down to a one-dimensional caricature of ourselves — only valuable for one type of sexual attention.
That laid the groundwork for the exploitation of Black women that would follow for centuries. Much of the East was seen through a similar lens, evident in the artistic depictions of harems of nude Arab women.
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The slavery and sexual exploitation of Native women fueled the accepted truth that non-European women were sexual objects existing for the sole purpose of pleasuring white European men. Manifestations of these relationship structures exist today.
Northwestern women of color speak out against fetishization of their race and ethnicity on campus
White women are the pinnacle of American society, while women of color remain sexual deviants. Taking a hard look at ourselves, we can recognize that racial and ethnic groups beyond our own are still viewed as the other, bleeding into our relationships and interactions. White men tend to see women of color as exotic and new because they have never had relationships with them. They venture into the unknown by pursuing a hookup, but later retreat to the comfort of the familiar: Fourteen-year-old me naively thought her warning was an exaggeration, even excessive paranoia.
But the truth is no amount of warning can prepare someone for the outright shame some white men on this campus feel when they are seen with a woman of color on their arm. The same appearances these men revere in private, they shun in public.
Oversaturated with this type of one-dimensional sexual attention, dating can seem hopeless for many of these women. But for those who prefer a casual hookup scene, it can be just as dangerous. Asian women are expected to be submissive. Many of the warning signs emerge in the subtleties and the patterns of past relationships. Men of color are not absolved either.
Why does that one friend always brag about sleeping with women of color, but only spends time with white women in public? People who like you are a certain type of person. Acevedo is acutely aware of the way she dances at parties. We often break stereotypical molds. Paulino is outspoken when people want her to be to be quiet and docile.
Demi Lovato Opens Up About Dating Latino Men vs. White Men | HuffPost
The problem with stereotypes is that while we transcend their boundaries, sometimes we fit them. Nicole is open about preferring hookups.
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Nicole met with her classmates last year at Norris to complete a class project. Oversexualization does not just come from the male population. Negative stereotyping towards women of color is entrenched in our daily interactions. Pop culture is saturated with the objectification of women of color. Submissive, loyal Asian women are portrayed as sidekicks and one-dimensional love interests in most Hollywood movies; Cho Chang from the Harry Potter franchise is a prime example. White women like Miley Cyrus performing hip-hop inspired music with a stage full of Black women use Black culture and womanhood to prop themselves up to commercial success.
White women capitalize on the exotic nature tied to minority cultures by adopting certain aspects of our cultures in an effort to be different. Others see us as competition in the dating pool. But while women of color may be getting sexual attention, serious relationships rarely follow suit. That is the reality these white women would rather not face. They want to exoticize and appropriate our culture, without the baggage. I later damn myself in the shower for not sticking up for myself. The women in our group have different approaches. Being honest about our shortcomings is the only way to grow together.
Listening to women of color when they tell you your words have hurt them is step one. On Halloween weekend at midnight, our group message lights up on my screen in the middle of a basement party. In that moment, I realize that most people would be surprised to hear these stories. But it is very normal for me to hear these stories.
In between songs at the Halloween party, texting these girls seems like the normal thing to do. I am not shocked. Recently my Filipina friend went on and on about how white men love to date Asian women. It made me wonder if the same could be said about white guys who date Latinas? In today's day and age when biracial and multicultural relationships are so common, why is this kind of discussion about people dating outside their race still a thing?
One white man said the reason he doesn't date white women is because of their "diva" attitude. But whenever I feel like it, I can slip on my Argentine or Nica lens — especially since I speak fluent Spanish — and understand the way other cultures are. She says she appreciates that her husband is more of a feminist than her, because for Miranda, it goes beyond cultural differences and has to do more with values. Although their differences aren't difficult for her to navigate, when it comes to her family, it's a different story.
Among all newlyweds in , 9 percent of whites, 17 percent of blacks, 26 percent of Hispanics and 28 percent of Asians married outside of their cultures. Another interesting finding in that report is that blacks and Latinos who marry whites "tend to have higher educational attainment than do those who married within their own racial or ethnic group.
My attraction to non-Latinos mainly came down to lifestyle and preference. Dating Latinos, for me, felt too familial.