Dating while in debt

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A survey by Bankrate found that more than half of young adults ages 18 to 29 delayed major life milestones such as buying a home or car, getting married and saving for retirement due to their student loan debt. Although some people consider any and all debt a relationship dealbreaker, you will find that many are willing to accept it.

Once your date has opened up about their financial situation, you can feel more comfortable sharing some of the details of yours. In fact, she said talking about debt is just as important as discussing sexually transmitted diseases and birth control with a potential romantic partner. They may overlook the debt because of the circumstances and your wanting to pay it down. Acknowledge what decisions led to accumulating the debt and what your plan is for paying it down.

Knowing that you have a plan in place will be a lot more reassuring to romantic partners.

Does money matter when dating? 9 experts weigh in and the Debt Monster eats my purse

They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your prince or princess. I knew he was a keeper then. To this day, he gets great joy out of leaving out to work while we stay in bed to rest. I love this comment. It made me feel a little teary eyed! I am looking forward to being a part of a team. I stopped dating when I was in great debt because it was something that could add to my debt. I am a man who should pay for the expenses in each date, thats why I stopped. I went back to dating when I paid off my debt, and this story is one of the topics I and my date talk about because it tells me something about myself.

Once the debt is gone-it will be even better! I just need to give myself some credit no pun intended for taking care of things. We want to get married, but the debt is definitely holding us back. The good news though, is that we can grow as a couple and get through this together.

I appreciate your kind words. I think I just needed to take time for myself and learn how to manage some habits that would have been detrimental to a healthy relationship. OMG, I want to give you the biggest high five ever right now Michelle!!!!!! I love those two and cannot wait to meet them and you!

They are just so positive and inspiring. I just imagine us laughing for hours talking about hilarious stuff. No one is perfect — as you say. The key is that you both recognize it and be willing to support and exist with your own imperfections. I wonder if that would be interesting on a dating profile. It will be a surprise! The alligators are next to the park. Keeping it off the dating profile LOL!

I think the right guy will be understanding and supportive. I think this is amazing!! It is so liberating working to get out of debt, and the feeling once you do is indescribable. I am cheering for you!! I know many people who have found their current spouses on their. I have also decided to change my online dating process to. Will keep you posted!

Reader Interactions

Debt would not be a door for me, but hiding it or accumulating it in secret would make me pause and reconsider the way a person is considering me. I really like your take on this, Amanda. I totally agree that the secrecy in this situation is a far bigger problem than the debt. I think the personal finance conversation should be had by every getting-serious couple. My husband and I both had debt when we met. We talked about it, made a plan and started chipping away before we were even engaged. Debt was a great motivator and ended up being a useful teaching tool that led us on our path to financial independence and a frugal lifestyle.

I agree with what many people have already said. The type of debt totally matters.

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I would, however, have a problem with someone swimming in student debt with no plan or ambition to get out of it. In my eyes, at my age, someone who is needlessly racking up thousands in credit card debt is probably not as responsible as what I look for in relationships, nor are they thinking long-term. Those are things that matter more than the numbers themselves. I feel like honesty is SO important in a case like this.

Tyler is dating me, and I have debt! Thankfully, though, I bring a lot to the table financially. We are totally on the same page with money and that is more important than if one person has debt. I agree with Mrs.

Is Debt a Relationship Deal Breaker?

The worst thing would be to hide the debt. If he or she is not willing to help you work though the difficulty, what kind of partner would he or she make? What other troubles down the road would he or she walk away from? I was worried about a lot of things when we got married but debt was not one of them.

I mean, I am a fantastic catch and all but I can only be so picky. We live in a debt society were it seems everyone has some form of credit card, student loan or car payments.

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  5. My wife had about 30K in debt but was really just ignorant to the fact that it was a bad thing. A little education and she started working a debt snowball. I do know that, for some people, debt is a deal-breaker. I see that feeling more in young people who managed to avoid debt in the first place.

    I had some debt myself and married Mr. Picky Pincher, who had nearly double my debts when we got married. It was just an extra challenge we had to face together that would test our commitment to each other. I think it is if the person is not making any efforts to get out of debt.

    I think a shot at love is more important. It also matters what that debt is. You pose an important question that is uniquely personal to each couple. I think it all boils down to being completely honest with your partner — especially about debt and finances. Since financial issues, and the stress that follows, are a huge cause of divorce — I think you need to be an open book about your debt and not carry that burden alone.

    Does Money Matter When Dating? Here’s what you had to say:

    There is no shame in admitting where you stand financially and working with your partner to dig yourself out of a hole. I made a rule when I was younger that I would not marry someone with debt because I worked my butt off to pay off mine. I would be emotionally supportive and we would just hold off marriage until the debts were cleared. In reality, I probably would marry someone with debt.

    My husband is the love of my life, and I am so happy to be married to him! I have honestly advised my daughter to exercise prudence in this area and be mindful of the same. Such a tricky topic, as every situation is different. My wife had no debt, but I had plenty of consumer debt mostly vehicles … yes, plural. And of course she knew about it before we were married … keeping secrets like this would probably be a deal breaker for me too! I paid my debt off!

    Being in debt is not bad. But if they did not have a plan or had bad money habits, that would be a deal breaker, because that is what happened to me. I was the one that had bad money habits. I really did not have a solid plan to get rid of my debt. The combination of the two were deal breakers for them. And my heart got broken. So, my debt has cost me much more than just money.

    How debt destroys your dating life

    I have dated both types. Women that were in debt and had bad credit, and ones with great credit. It may not be a deal breaker, but they did not share my bank accounts either. A shared bank account with a poor credit person probably means a drained bank account. That might put a damper in things…. Has to do with your age and experience.